AirForce 1's

Well i have been in the air force for just shy of ONE WHOLE YEAR! so far i have been paid well, loved my job, and had great bennifits! The air force has paid $8 grand for Shanes birth, just under $200,000 for the brain surgery( and still adding up, meds not included those are $2,000 for 3 pills... i take two a day... for the next year!, and now i have added the appendix surgery to the list! i have no idea how much this one is worth, but each CT scan runs $4,000 and i've had 2, plus surgery and realy heavy drugs! i would have to say that this was a very smart place for me to be, and the best part is this! I have a total of 4 months paid medical vaccation for healing, during this time, i have still been accumilating actual vaccation time, and getting paid in full! what a kick butt job!!! i love this place! any one wants to know where the best job in the world is?! ITS the US air force! i love it! and i can't wait to put my 20 years in! HUUUAAAHHHHHH

appendix removal

So i couldn't get enough of the doctor, so i decided i needed my appendix removed!!! couple side comments i have though.... i had no clue the doctor was gona do the surgery... so i didn't "pre-shave" my tummy... so the nice little doctor left me with a mustache above my belly button!( the little wanker) and 2, it was done with a lazer, so the lazer causes major bloating... i swear i'm not that fat! i am pritty chucky.... since i can't workout from brain surgery... BUT NOT THAT FAT!!!!!!!

texas special!

well i was granted this wonderful automobile, for free! can you imagine someone not wanting this exotic high performance machine!? well.... me niether! so i decided to sink 200 bucks into her, replacing the front A arm, and the rear whell bearing, i lent it to a friend for a weekend... and he lent me 5o bucks for a tip! two days later i sold this beauty of a car for 450!!! woot woot! two hours labor, and 20 bucks in tools, brian has sold yet another P.O.S.!!!

healing my melon!

A month and a half later, its all but healed up! my head is still shaped like a squash.... but it was like that from birth so.... GOOD AS NEW!

yes.... its 4wheel drive

i got nuthin.........

The big promotion to Yellow rope!

Despite what you might think, a yellow rope is actualy a step up the ladder in the AirForce! the scale is Green rope, over 50 people, theres about 20 in a squadron. Yellow rope over 150, there is between 4 and 8 at one time, and then red rope, over 500 people, only one of them!

Hospital rent-a-cop

i'm thinking of quiting the Air Force so that i can get an imitation segway for my new company car!

human pin cushion!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!

shhh!!!!!!!! i'm huntin wabbits!


well, i was poked with 6 i.v's! 2 from each hospital i was at that day! ARRGGGHHHH!!!!! a 16 guage, 3 18 guage, and 2 20 guage wholes... not so fun....... ucky ucky ucky!

not trying to make you all sick from my hairy nips, but these pads are like super glue.... but free waxing! all it takes is a trip to the hospital!

Look at that redness!!!!!! its a bad pic, but, i swear, i am still sore where the adheisive super notzy glue, wrenched the hair from my milky white skin!

LEAP FROG!!!!!!!

i met this native girl, so i decided to teach her leap frog.... the whole language barrier was difficult, cus she didn't grasp the concept, i jump over you... you jummp over me! so... it was kind of one sided!

at the end of the day... it was sweet, Chief Little Left Toe ( he was half french) let me have a horse to mosey on home with! i will forever be in his debt! Now... if i could only figure out how to get this thing to move......

The Fall of western Civilization

Excuse me please! i need everyones attention! I have found the worlds most incredible morsels that need to be devoured as often as you can find them in the stores!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am actualy going crazy over them!

if i could, i would eat them instead

of breathing air! woot woot!

BAD NEWS!!!!!!!!!! i dont feel so

good..... totaly over crammed like

26 of those little develish baggies!

I believe this is how my tummy is

feeling right now.... it keeps taunting

and yelling at me!!!! UGHH!!!!!!!!!

American Idols next winner to be announced

Everyone listen up! I can't release any names... my contract with fox restricts me from disclosing that vidal information! it is also for that reason, the video may be shot from what looks to be from under my coat.... i'm not saying that it was.... but i appoligize if my pocket gets in the way of the picture... Humor me though... if you are going to watch this, can you please, please please please! watch it the whole way threw! You didn't see this on my website!

David letermans top 10, "what should brian do for the rest of his life!?"

10- lie to another branch of the military, and try and infiltrate the system and push the lords luck on weather or not he should be in or not!!!!

9- go back to being a plumber for the 46th time in his life!

8- rumour has it Polaris is looking for a new crash dumie!!!

7- go become a lumberjack..... maybe talk a tree into breaking his back a few more times!

6- "there is this trading post in the middle of no where that makes no money, but hey! i could always turn it around right?! better luck next year!

5- anybody have the phone number of the kirby sales team?!

4- McDonalds is always hiring managers! i think even i couldn't screw up "ding fries are done!"

3- write a movie!- Anyonce could write a movie better than the village!!!!! THEY MADE BANK!

2- Be a sams Club Greeter!!!! I'M FINALY BALD ENOUGH!

1- The number one "what should brian do with the rest of his life?!@??@?@

-Send out an email to a million people saying send me a buck.... pass it on... we will all get rich! "i know a guy who did it and it was almost leagal, and after paying court fees, gained like a billion dollars!!!!!!" (Adam, i swear it works!)